There's an Elephant in My Livingroom
by Helen Walton

I didn't ask for a pachyderm and I'm not sure why my friend decided it would be good company for me.  I can hardly clean around it let alone under it.  It doesn't talk, so I can't have an intelligent conversation with it.  It drinks lots of water, now my well has run dry.  It eats lots of peanuts and hay.  The farmers like that but my bank account is depleted.  I had to buy a pet license for it; the fee was based on how much the pet weighed and I had to mortgage my house.  I had to take the elephant to the vet for shots, it wouldn't fit in my car and MDOT said I couldn't walk an elephant on the highway.

I called the Humane Society and they said they didn't have a kennel big enough for an elephant.  I called my friend who left me the elephant and they said they were leaving town but wished me luck finding a home for my pet.

I hope some someone hears my call for help.  I'll gladly trade for a donkey.